This Should Be Interesting

So I decided to enroll back into college and finsih up getting my degree. I'm counting on it keeping me busy as well as giving me the disciple I need in order to complete some goals I once set for myself 10 yrs ago. No more easy way for me or going for the fast $$$$$. This should be good for me

Some of you may not know that I have some significant experience as a journalist. I have worked for 2 different Magazines as well as owed one on my own. Needless to say they all failed after a few yrs. But that has to do more so with the fact I was after the fast $$$ and just used the business as a tool for the WRONG reasons. There was a time when we were successful at a few points, but we all lacked the direction or dedication to see it thru.

Anyways, so back to school. I had to write my 1st essay tonight and man did I have some trouble. Mind you, the magazine I wrote for was def. more "rough around the edges" in the content we published and wrote about. So it was def raw and uncut. So I found myself jumping back into that way of writing while writing this essay. Something that should have taken in 40 mins or less turned into about 90 worth of back and forth and re editing and re structuring. I've written 2 short stories in class thus far and the teacher loved them and was certainly surprised by my work. Her advice though "clean it up". We'll see what happens. I will get an "A" though, just wait

Want I'm Searching For

Seems like every song Avery puts out relates directly to me. Couldnt have said it better myself..Well, maybe I could given a chance. I can only pray I find what I'm lookig for in good time

A PART OF ME

Prison desensitizes you. The 1st time you see someones face get cut, your stomach is sick. The 2nd time, you tend to show some concern. After a while you just keep on moving. There's a part of you that could care less, you have your own problems to worry about. This might be a hard concept for most people to grasp but sadly enough it holds very true.

I rarely ever bring upshare experiences I've had while being incarcerated in State and Federal Prisons even if people ask. Obviously it's something I'm not proud of at all. Maybe thats part of the reason I keep that era of my life so close to me.

Yes Prison desensitizes you. But it allows you to see whats most important, family and loyalty. Because the reality is neither exists in Prison. I've learned at a very early age never to run from who I've become. Instead I have chosen to embrace it and grow from my experiences. In doing so, it ables me to never lose sight of what's truly important

I DID IT ALL FOR THE COOKIE

I DID IT ALL FOR THE COOKIE

One of the most memorable days in high school, happened in my junior year. I’m not sure that it’s necessarily a “good” or “bad” memory, but a memory none the less. When I think back on it, it makes me smile because no one got hurt… Well hurt ‘to’ bad.

My first class was “Select Chorus” (Special Singing Class). The teacher loved me so I had a tendency to skip class quite a bit. My friend Tyler stood next to me, and was a sophomore. We always got along and made fun of people on a regular basis, especially the faces people would make while singing. He ran into me as I was walking to class and told me that his mom had just made some of her famous chocolate chip cookies the night before. I proposed we skip class and go to his house and eat some of these “famous” cookies.

I had a fairly noticeable car in high school, and the principal & vice-principal knew it, which got me into quite a bit of trouble fairly often, so I learned to ask my friends if I could borrow their cars. That way if I skipped, they couldn’t say they saw “me” leave. Luckily on this day, my friend Josh was feeling generous, and handed over his keys to his Tempo, despite the fact I had a broken hand and a full cast, and it was a stick shift. Needless to say driving with only a functioning left arm was difficult but not impossible. So we were off to get some cookies.

We were traveling approximately 30 mph when we came up to an intersection where there were construction workers. The next exit was ours so I got into the shoulder to make a right, all the while, Tyler yelling “WHOA WHOA WHOA” then it happened… Next thing I know, there’s a man on the hood of our car, then the windshield, then the roof, then the trunk, and finally the ground. Needless to say, I was SHOCKED. I kept driving as I saw him and his friends make way toward their work trucks, and the CHASE WAS ON!

To this day, I’m still not sure how, but we did lose them, and we proceeded to smash some cookies. Let me tell you, they were DELISH! I was actually able to calm down and my mind was at peace, even after just hitting a man with my friend’s car, while skipping school for these cookies, which were definitely worth it!

As we were making our way back to school we ran into a slight problem. Call is an ambush, call it a road block, a gathering if you may. The men had a street blocked off in the neighborhood we were leaving and spotted us. Quickly I locked the doors as they came up to the car. I played dumb as I asked what the problem was. His reply was, “YOU FUCKING HIT ME, Why are you driving a stick shift, why is your face all black?” Well, I guess I had chocolate smeared all over my face from going crazy with those cookies. He was shouting at me and trying to open the car door, Tyler was freaking out, thinking we were about to get a beat down by 9 old dudes. No Thank You! I quickly threw the car in 1st gear and made my way into someone’s yard and got moving. They were all some distance from their trucks and seemed quite surprised to see us making a getaway. I wasn’t moving fast, but I was moving. All I remember is the guy saying “I’m calling the police, and you’re going to lose your license.” I yelled back to the guy, “Fuck you, this isn’t even my car!”

We made it back to school and made our way to our next respective classes. I entered Calculus as if nothing had even happened. Once the bell rang and class started the teacher was starring at me hard. Finally she said. “Jonathan, would you like to tell us all what you’ve been up to this morning?” I thought to myself, “SHIT, somehow they know.” But I played dumb and shrugged my shoulders. The whole class was looking at me and smirking. Finally she said, “I’m guessing you had a good time with some chocolate, it’s all over your face.” I forgot to wipe my face in the midst of our adventure. Did I mention we were substantially high all morning, that’s my excuse.

I miss Mrs. Lewis’ cookies.

Am I The Only One

Since I can recall, there has always been some things that I do, that I’ve just always done. Often I wonder if I’m the only person who does these certain things. Then the thought passes as quickly as it came, while I find myself doing these exact things.

From the time I’ve been to grow a full beard, roughly 16 or so. I’ve had a certain habit of pulling my facial hairs out one by one. I know it sounds painful and absurd, but I can’t be the only one, Right? Strangely, I find myself enjoying the slight pain it causes. In the past when I’ve allowed my beard to grow out, I would find myself pulling so many hairs out that there are noticeable patches missing. Okay, maybe I’m the only person who does such things…

Food is a huge personal peeve for me. Always, Always, ALWAYS, I have to eat one thing at a time; never ever taking turns tasting the foods on my plate. You’ll never see me go back and forth from fries to burger, back to fries. Milk in my cereal makes me cringe. Just the idea of eating soggy cereal makes my skin crawl. However, I do slam through milk while I’m eating dry cereal. I know… Makes no sense.

When it comes to blowing my nose, I’m not weird, so no judging. Remember it’s just a habit I’ve done since I was extremely young. Always after I blow my nose, I subconsciously inspect the damage I’ve made in the tissue. Not that I get any enjoyment of looking at my own snot, but it never fails; I always look in the Kleenex afterwards.

I’ve lived with some nasty guys in the past. I couldn’t stand when they would cut their nails, fingers or toes, and just let the land where and then “MAYBE” pick them up to dispose of them properly. Quite possibly the grossest thing in my opinion. Instead, I always put toilet paper on the toilet seat, place my foot on the paper and clip away. The same goes for finger nails, I guess one could say I put both nails and poo together, since they both leave the same way, DOWN THE TOILET!

I’m just saying, as well as keeping it brief, Am I the only one??

EL BUBBLE

EL BUBBLE'


They say there's two sides to everything. Well, bubbles are no exception. To kids,
bubbles represent a sense of joy. Ever see the face of a child who has spent the previous ten minutes blowing bubbles through that ring? It's priceless. I'd even say that it's a past time that seems to forever be priceless, and who would disagree? We have all been there putting our lips together to produce a bubble that we know would put a smile on our face.
My how times have changed. Now to me, bubbles are quite the opposite of something that makes me happy. A nightmare in the making, that's what they are to me now. Having that feeling in the bottom of your stomach is nothing to feel joyful about, and the timing of the whole situation seems to always be the worst. You can be in a room full of people, completely out of your comfort zone when it hits you. Rest assure that's the time it's going to hit you. You do everything you can to not lead on to the people that the rumbling has begun. The battle of making sure absolutely no noises are made from your stomach or your burgers, (That's right, burgers is the new word for butt.) is a battle you're sure to lose in time. So a word to the wise watch what you eat and never, I repeat never go on a liquid diet.

Yours Truly
Turkey Sandwich

STASH

Thankfully we live in a time where razors are no longer required. Thanks to ppl such as David Beckham, Bradd Pitt, George Clooney etc. We have found ourselves in a bearded revolution.

These are actual facts I've come across. New York Times trumpted the stash as a "modern day sex symbol". Wikipedia notes the stash is often culturally associated with wisdom and virility. ASKMEN.COM says that growing a stash is an art form. I personally agree with all these statements.

This might explain why I admire and think of myself as a modern day Ron Burgundy.

The best part about growing a stash, is that it's quite convieneint. First step is to do absolutely nothing. Let it grow wild, thats right, the wilder the better. When it starts to look like you live in the woods, it's a good time to start trimming. Your girlfriend might let a wild stash go for the time being, but it's quite hard to get a gf with a wild looking stash..There are plenty of options to pick from when deciding how you might want to shape your stash.. i would suggest something that fits your style as well as facial structure. Please stay away from the "Handlebars" or any stash that might be drapping down pass your lips often covering the mouth.

WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE"